Fairies Don't Need Apps

"You spent how many dollars on that?"

"It was for a good cause!"

"Sure, she gives half her profits to social justice causes, but you bought jewelry from a fairy! Do you know what that could do to you?"

She crossed her arms and lifted her chin. "I bought jewelry from a local artisan at the farmer's market who just happens to be a fairy! God, Mark, how can you be so racist?"

"I'm so not being racist! I'm trying to tell you that you didn't just buy jewelry-- you bought a contract!" I replied, exasperated.

"I did not! All the fairy said when I bought it is that she'd like to see me wearing it around town! And then I said that I will because it's beautiful!"

"Have you seen her since the market?"

"Well, no..."

This time, I crossed my arms. "Ok, try and take the jewelry off, then."

Bella reached for the necklace and attempted to pull it over her head, but it stuck fast to her neck as if superglued there. Then she tried the bracelet and the ring, but none of it budged. Her eyes went wide. "Oh! Oh no!"

"I warned you!" I said. "I told you that that fairy's been eyeing you for months, especially once you told her you were a lesbian."

Bella facepalmed. "Fucking hell! She could have just asked for a date! Now what?" she asked.

"Looks like you'll have to make a coffee date, then," I smirked. "With your new fairy girlfriend."

Bella glared at me and left the apartment, flipping me off on the way out. I shook my head and laughed. "I suppose that's one way to end the lesbian mating dance," I said to Bella's empty chair as I sipped my tea.