No, I won't tell you how to write a novel-- here's why:

When I started making YouTube videos with my story narrations, a number of folks asked me "Are you going to do videos about how to write and sell novels?"

The short answer is: "No."

The long answer:

First, most of the writing advice out there is geared towards neurotypicals and traditional publishing. In my opinion, traditional publishing is a cruel process that leans towards neurotypicals who can handle rejection. If you're neurodivergent and have RSD, the trad publishing process will most likely kill your writing motivation and possibly make you stop writing all together. The constant rejections from publishers and agents, many of whom will ghost you without sending reasons why your work gets rejected, go straight into the "you must be getting rejected because your work is complete and utter shit" part of the brain. Do not pass Go, do not collect $250.

Writing is my comfort place and sacred ground. I realized early on that the trad publishing process would make it so I never wrote again and lead me down bad mental health roads.

Next, a lot of the how-tos for writing and publishing out there are really only suggestions. If all of these "write this way to make money" or "become a bestselling author in months" or "advertise this specific way and you'll make money" really worked for everyone, why aren't there a lot more famous authors? The reality is, there's so many writers and books published, that you're just one writer in a very big sea of writers. No matter how well you write, there's no guarantee that you'll suddenly get famous. All you can really do is write your books, publish your story in a way that works for you, and hope that someone, somewhere, will eventually read it.

Honestly, the biggest piece of truth about writing I've found is this: there is no one true way to write and publish a book and the only way to get good at writing is to write.

A few months ago, I wrote a few things down on Tumblr that I feel I can tell new writers in good conscience about writing books:

1. One person's trash is another person's treasure. This is the big one and the hardest thing I had to learn as an author: Not everyone's going to want to read or like my book. That's just how it is, and really, that's ok. Everyone has different tastes when it comes to what they like to read. Just because someone doesn't read or like your book, doesn't mean your writing is shit. All it means is that your story wasn't for them.
2. Just because a friend or family member doesn't read your book, it doesn't mean they don't support your writing. As in #1, your relatives just may not be interested in the genre you're writing in, or they're not big readers, or some other reason. I'm super lucky and grateful that both my Wife and my Mom both like the genres I write in AND are big readers so they will read anything I send them. However, many of my friends and family haven't read anything I've written. Again, that's ok. It just means that my stuff wasn't for them-- it doesn't mean my writing sucks.
3. Don't let just anyone read your first drafts. Vet your first (alpha) readers like a good therapist. They need to a) want to read the genre you write in and b) be able to give critique about the draft without being cruel. Your first readers DO NOT need to bludgeon your mental health to help you write better.
4. Find a good editor (and/or beta readers) under the same criteria that you'd use for a first reader. Again, people who edit your work to any degree DO NOT need to bludgeon your mental health to make you write better.
5. You don't necessarily need to break the bank to find a good editor or cover artist for self publishing. I can tell you that there are a lot of editors and artists floating around who need work. Ask your author friends for referrals. Go to the Writing & Reading, Co-working & Studying, and Art categories on Twitch and poke around. Check r/HungryArtists on reddit. Check out sites like Reedsy or Fiverr. Be honest about your situation with a potential new editor/artist and ask if they can work with you. Maybe you can do some sort of payment plan, or some sort of work-trade, or a mixture of both. DO make sure you come up with a fair and equitable solution, though, and DO make sure you have a contract that allows either of you to leave the situation if it isn't working out. Ask your artist/editor/freelancer friends about how to write these. I can guarantee that someone you know will know someone who can help you. Do be aware that a lot of the websites can have people who use AI, so make sure to vet the people you work with as best you can.
6. Don't worry about whether your story is "original enough" or if it's been "done before." Sure, the concept you have for your story may not be something brand new, but it'll be unique because it's your story and your voice. There will be someone out there who will read it and love your work. (See point #1.) You never know, your story may even save a life.
7. Also, don't worry about bullshit things that Booktok and Booktube like to whine about like "Mary Sue/Stu" or tropes, or anything like that. Lots of what we consider classics these days have some or all of these tropes in it. Just because you self-inserted doesn't automatically mean your story sucks. Just because you have a common trope in your story doesn't mean your writing sucks. Good lord, have you read some of those classic American literary novels??? (I am so NOT a Hemingway/Faulkner/etc fan. Talk about tropes and self-inserts...) No matter what, don't give in to the social media hate on tropes. Tropes exist to be played with and written about because it's what humans write about.
8. Your first draft isn't always complete shit and you DO NOT have to hate your first draft. I really despise a lot of the advice out there that keeps harping on the idea that your first draft is supposed to be complete shit and that you have to hate it. I'm not saying that it can't be, but it's not required for you to hate what you write. In fact, you might come out of a writing session of a first draft where you love the scene or chapter or a particular line. While you don't have to hate your first draft, you will, always, always, always have to edit it, however. Multiple times. It's one of the few real truths about the writing process.
9. You DO NOT have to attend a writing workshop, participate in a writing group, or traditionally publish to be a "legit" writer. This is especially important for my neurodivergent folks, because a lot of writing groups, online or in person, follow a format that has been known to be cruel, racist, and really bad for marginalized/neurodivergent authors. I'm not saying that ALL writing groups are like this, and there's been a shift away from the original Univeristy of Iowa format. But the same suggestions I gave you for finding readers and editors (#2 and #3) are equally useful for writing groups, too. Ask if you can observe a meeting or observe the Discord/online group for a bit before committing fully. Ask to talk to other members, and ask if they have a non-discrimination policy that includes all marginalized peoples (BIPOC, queer, transgender, disabled, neurodivergent, etc.) If they've got people there who are being gatekeepers about what writing is legit or not, or who is allowed in the group, run, don't walk, to the nearest exit.
10. If you're a fanfic writer, or just write for fun, and you post your story somewhere where the general public can consume your writing, then you are a published, legit author. Just because you don't get money for your writing doesn't mean you aren't a "real writer." Over history, people told stories just for fun or to teach, and they were considered storytellers, regardless of whether they were well known, or just known in a small group of people. Also, not everything in life has to be a hustle.
11. If you're writing to get rich, you might want to reconsider. No one truly knows how or why certain books will sell or get famous, just like marketers don't truly know why certain ads will work one day and fail the next. Most books that get famous quickly are either done by folks who already have a large following, are already celebrities, or plain dumb luck. And if you try to "write to market" just because some so-called writing guru said so, are you truly writing your story?
12. There is no "one true way" to write a story. Anyone who tells you that you must do X, Y, Z to write a good story is lying to you. Do you like to make detailed outlines that are about the same number of words as your finished novel? Then do that. Are you a consummate pantster and allergic to anything smacking of an outline? No worries, do that. Are you somewhere in between? Then do that. Only really write between midnight and 4 am? Have to write on your iPad while lying flat on your back? Prefer to use fountain pens and write the entire novel by hand before typing it up? Great! All of these are legit ways to write a novel.

In the end, outside of grammar and spelling, pretty much all of the writing advice out there is suggestion, not Holy Writ. You are not beholden to some amorphous Writing Cabal that decides who is and isn't worthy of slapping some words together and calling it a story. Do whatever you have to do to get your story written. DO NOT let anyone else tell you can't write it because you didn't write it the way they think someone should write a novel.

Only YOU can write your story.

YOU are in charge of how that gets written.

There is NO "one true way."

Write. Your. Story.

I'll be here, cheering you on.

Story and Podcast updates:

Season 7, Nemetona, of Tales from Flat Space is now complete, especially for those who like to binge an audiobook! I will begin reading Control, Book 6 (Season 8), on Twitch on September 8.

I'm still recording for Season 1 of The Spencerverse, which will finish on September 17. Season 2 will start in January, since, well, I need to write more stories!

In the meantime, I'm doing something on YouTube Shorts called Very Short Stories which riffs off a BlueSky/X challenge called VSS365, where there was a word of the day, and you have to write a story within the character limit of the app. For this, I'm using Merriam-Webster's word of the day for suggestions, and creating 2.5 minute shorts. I'm having fun with it, and I hope you enjoy them!

Lastly, I will eventually be recording the 2nd Edition of the 1st four Survey books and The White Queen, hopefully sooner rather than later. I'm still not entirely sure how I'll offer the recordings yet, but I'm working on it.

Hope you've had a great summer and remember, don't let anyone stop you from creating your work!